“Delayed obedience is disobedience.” A friend once shared to me this striking phrase. Now it’s sinking in me on how I as well have delayed my obedience to God.
I’ve thought about it, with a lot of considerations in mind. I’ve prayed about it for months and was finally certain that God wanted me to do this. I came to a point almost accomplishing the task; like all planets were really aligned for this to happen, yet I was held back, due to that “almost” factor. And so it got delayed until I said to myself that prolonging it wouldn’t be that bad. I’ll get to stay longer in my comfort zone and enjoy the pleasure it offers. After all, I’m still uncertain what’s next. And so I made plans; big plans that would compensate my current state. I’ve missed out a lot of commitments due to that. Almost everything was going well; almost except my heart. Deep inside, it still troubled me that I kept on setting aside God’s voice.
There was a night that I cried to God confessing my disobedience. I poured out everything to Him for I know I’ve sinned on delaying to obey. That maybe my sincerest prayer committing to God the big plans I made – whether it pushes through or not, it’s all in His hands. I was half-hearted all throughout the planning. But after praying, I felt a different kind of peace, like God forgave me and that He allowed me to embrace and enjoy my current state while I still can. Now more than before, I was excited for that big plan of mine.
Time is joyously nearing for that plan to happen. Yet one day, the unexpected occur. Last night, I found out that someone in my family was verbally diagnosed with malignant tumor in his thyroid needing for a surgery. I was speechless for a moment primarily to the concern of the medical result and secondly on the effect it’ll make crushing down the big plan. Is this God’s answer to my last sincerest prayer? After expecting so much from that plan, now it's already vague. Maybe He really wanted me to obey ASAP to the extent of this.
Maybe He wanted me to learn many things: to obey Him on time for God is always on time, to consult Him first before planning instead of planning then surrendering (the latter way can be disappointing especially when God answers no after you’ve already made plans), and to learn to accept God’s answer for He is the Sovereign God, All-knowing, Perfect in His timing.
Thinking about it now, I know I have no right to question the fall down of the big plans for I remember praying to God surrendering it all in His hands. I know God is guiding us through this time. And I definitely learned many things from this! Unexpected things do happen. Looking at the brighter side, I know God will open new doors for me. I hope I’m now ready to say “It’s Time”.
